The Power of Repair: Why Apologizing to Your Child Builds Trust and Resilience

Do you ever feel like you’re failing at parenting? Like no matter how hard you try, you still snap, say the wrong thing, or completely blank on how to handle a meltdown?

Hi, I’m Sean, and I help parents build stronger relationships with their kids. And if you’ve ever found yourself regretting the way you've reacted to your kids, you’re not alone.

Let’s talk about this idea of being a “good” parent. Somewhere along the way, we picked up this notion that good parents always know what to do. They never lose their temper. They definitely don’t step on a LEGO and let out a string of words their child will later repeat at school with condones a call home.

But here’s the thing—perfection in parenting is like counting to infinity. It’s not a destination; it’s a pursuit. And when we pass that pursuit onto our kids, we set them up for an impossible task. They learn that mistakes aren’t allowed. That they should strive for something none of us can actually achieve.

So let’s change the script.

A good parent doesn’t get everything right. A good parent messes up—and then repairs it.

We slip up. We lose our patience. We say things we wish we could rewind or use an unintended tone. But instead of getting stuck in guilt, we do something even more powerful—we apologize.

When we repair, we show our kids:

• Mistakes don’t define us—how we handle them does.

• It’s okay to be human (even parents).

• Owning up to our actions strengthens trust, not weakens it (when they mirror this back to you, you'll know exactly what I mean).

  
  

So the next time you yell because you just asked them to put their shoes on for the fifth time (seriously, why is it always the shoes?), take a deep breath. Own it. Apologize. Let them see that making things right is part of being in a loving relationship and then show them how to say what they need by you sharing what your need is.

Because being a great parent isn’t about never messing up. It’s about what you do next.

Want more tools for creating peace and connection in your home? Join me for a free discovery session. 

Are you ready to be the kind of parent you want to be? Take the Transformative Parenting Course Created by the Jai Institute of Parenting. In this course I'll work with you on real world obstacles you're facing while providing you with the insights into nuero and attachment science and tools for effective communication, teaching values holding boundaries⎯lovingly, and so much more. 

About the Author

Sean Savitt is a proud father, parenting coach, and advocate for teen parents, high-risk youth and high-conflict families dedicated to helping families turn tough parenting moments into opportunities to build deeper connections with their kids.

As the founder of Nest and Mane Family Center and a certified Jai Institute of Parenting instructor, he provides science-backed insights with a soft but direct approach. He helps parents find solutions that align with their values, believing that empowering parents creates healthier families and stronger communities. His motto is: “Parenting with clear intentions changes everything.”